One of the biggest surprises of our ‘no-fault’ insured incidents was the truly alarmingly realistic nature of automated and artificially-intelligent (AI) follow-up voice-calls I received as a result of having three vehicles written off . Apart from the cheerily introduced ‘Hello Mr Paterson, how’re you doing today. It’s Adam here from your Accident Thingummy Something Incomprehensible Or Other, just checking everything’s going OK with your recent accident claim? And have you by any chance broken your neck in the accident?’ (They didn’t usually say the last bit – despite it being the underlying reason for their unsolicited concern – I … Continue reading A Tale of Three Write Offs – Part Three

“Mokka!” We took to shouting this Vauxhall brand-manager’s Costa-derived inspiration every time we spotted one the same as the one we’d been ‘gifted’ by the insurance company as an interim hire car. Paid for, dear reader, by an insignificant sum embedded within your very own insurance premium, so please accept our heartfelt thanks, as we drove around in it for almost six weeks while the ‘accident management company’ dealt with the complexities of consigning the Astra to a tip. And indeed, the Mokka was a very pleasant vehicle in which to tazz around. Not quite as enjoyable as the Mazda … Continue reading A Tale of Three Write Offs – Part Two

Not quite a true Knumpty tale this one, I grant you, but vehicle-related nonetheless – so included here as a cautionary fable for those who – like us – happen to live on an increasingly busy main road. Several weeks ago, we had our parked car written off when a passing motorist crashed into it. And coincidentally, almost exactly two years prior, in exactly the same location, we had another two cars written off in one go – by exactly the same method. You’ll therefore, gentle reader, hopefully bear with your humble author if this episode becomes just a tad … Continue reading A Tale of Three Write Offs – Part One

Early Birds. Many years ago we had the thrill of moving house to discover that our new next-door neighbours were a duo of accomplished professional musicians. The Early Birds specialised in original children’s music – which provided a touching and much-loved soundtrack for our own daughters’ childhoods. One particularly memorable and moving track revolved around a child’s view of things seen ‘from the window of my Daddy’s car’, where the chorus still chimes in our heads every time we turn for home in the Knumptywagen: “Going home, going home, there is nothing quite like going home”.* And so with that … Continue reading Going Home, Going Home . . .

Apologies – it’s a bit of a lengthy one, this, but perhaps you can enjoy it course-by-course, so to speak! Travelling in the Knumptywagen with our bijou, on-board kitchenette we more often than not endeavour to feed ourselves ‘in-van’ – and have enjoyed some restaurant-quality meals prepared from locally-sourced produce on our little inbuilt 3-burner gas stove. Travelling the West Coast of Scotland in the Knumptywagen, however, literally presents a different kettle of fish, in that temptation seemed to lie around every scenic corner. So we tried – on occasions – to patronise the occasional eatery ‘en passant’ and as … Continue reading Food Thoughts From Abroad

We crossed water on two ferries during this trip, each one being exciting yet unremarkable in their own right. Exciting because we don’t get out much and unremarkable because nothing awful occurred during either crossing and we were delivered to the opposite shore as anticipated, in a timely, professional and maritime manner. Our first crossing from Armadale on Skye to Mallaig took place in bright sunshine, with a chill breeze whipping the wavetops – and provided a rare opportunity to examine the tree-scraped roof of the Knumptywagen from our elevated position on the tiny passenger deck.  We’d made the crossing … Continue reading Across The Water

It was on the glorious road through Glencoe that we continued a rather hazy tradition prevalent amongst motor-homers – a brief, friendly acknowledging wave of camaraderie as we pass one another in opposite directions. On this particular occasion, however, we inadvertently also locked antlers with our opposite number since, as we passed, either one, other or both of us must have drifted too close to the centre line, so in tandem with our cheery greeting, there was a god-awful split-second crash and our exterior driving mirror deteriorated into a glazed mosaic of shattered reflections while the hefty housing flapped limp … Continue reading Locking Antlers In Glencoe